My Favorite Quotes

I bet you’ve heard quite a few quotes that have brought a smile to your face. Maybe it was inspiring, maybe it was optimistic, or maybe it was just funny (like all the quotes you’ll see here). Either way, there are some good quotes out there. Here are a few of my favorites.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

-Bob Monkhouse

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

-Dave Barry

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

-Douglas Adams

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

-Socrates

If at first you don’t succeed . . . so much for skydiving.

-Henny Youngman

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut up.

-Anonymous

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

-Also Anonymous

And lastly…

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

-Isaac Asimov

Maybe you didn’t understand some of these quotes. Just reread them, partially because I don’t have the time to explain in another blog post, and partially because I am just too lazy to write that blog post. Anyway, these are my favorite quotes. Thanks for reading!

Source: quotery.com